Who, dear? Me, dear? Gay, dear? Yes, dear.

So...remember that thing I was vague to you all about last time? Well...now I've told all of my readers who I know, so I guess I can make an entry about it.

I'm gay. Yep, a homosexual male. I've known this for about 3+ years and hadn't told anyone until February 4th, on which day I told my best friend Erika. Here's how that happened: I had wanted to tell her since like september, but I had just kept telling myself "I'll do it another time, I'm not ready now." But, I just got so annoyed with myself doing that, I decided to nail myself down to a date I would do it by. I did this by telling Erika I wanted to tell her something somewhat important within the next month. I should have predicted what happened from there...She kept asking and asking what it was and wouldn't stop until I told her (she is very persuasive). So I did. I was not really prepared yet, so it was kind of traumatic, but not really. I had to Facebook message her it even though she was right next to me because my mom was like right behind us. I said "You know that one time Alex thought I was gay? He wasn't exactly wrong.............." She read it, then looked back up at me and just put her arms out for a hug. All in all, it was a very emotional experience for me, but, I can't help but thank her for making me do it. I feel like if she hadn't, I would have found some way around it within the next month and I would have never told anyone. So, thank you Erika, you're the best friend ever. Well from there, the next person who was told was Alex, Erika's boyfriend. Erika asked if she could tell him, and I didn't really see any problem with it. I mean it's probably better that he knows, considering the amount of time Erika spends at my house. So in case he is the jealous type, he now knows there is nothing going on there and there never will be. The next person to be told was Mathieu. I wasn't exactly sure how he'd react, but it was fine. The person after that to be told was Rohun. I originally was going to wait a bit before telling him, but then I decided I would, but I would wait until sunday so I could tell him and Sarah together. But, somehow I managed to promise Aki that I'd tell her too, and then I kind of started to think too much and decided that telling 3 people at once was too much, so I managed to tell Rohun the next day at school. He was totally fine with it, which was awesome. Then on Sunday I told Aki and Sarah. Sarah reacted completely fine at first, but then she realized she was kind of surprised about it later, which is to be expected considering the amount of time Sarah and I have actually known each other. Aki, on the other hand, reacted completely un-surprisedly. Her first words after I told her were "I know." So, yeah. She apparently was able to tell from the way I walked or some shit. But, considering I expected her to react in a completely different and very surprised way, that way was a lot better.

Well I'm still not coming out publicly. And I know what you're saying: "This is on the internet, how is this not public?" Well, fuck you, I know that. But it's not as though anyone who I actually know is going to read this. Maybe random people who somehow find this will read it, but no one I actually know or care about knowing that I'm gay will. So, all in all, I'm perfectly fine with making an entry about it, and am happy to finally be able to do so. It's been a long time without telling anyone, and it is an amazing feeling to finally be able to have people in my life who know.